Pain or No Pain??

Epidural or no epidural? How to decide?? It is such a loaded question that can change with so many different turn of events! I love the idea of being one of those women who births her child medication free. It's like I could be this almighty Amazon woman who can do all things she puts her mind to. I've been reading up on epidurals and the risks and benefits just to try and convince myself that, yes, I can give birth without the need for medication. I CAN do it! But there is that tiny little voice inside of me saying, "Why even bother trying to go for it? What is the point? You'll get the baby eventually anyway, and it might be a whole lot better experience. Why endure all that pain?"

The problem that I am having is that if I were to get an epidural, the chance of needing a c-section or the need for Pitocin or forceps or a vacuum removal greatly increases. Are all those risks worth the pain relief? I mean if I end up having a c-section, is that worth the incredibly painful recovery and nasty ass scar I'll have forever? The other problem that I am having is that I have NO idea what exactly it's going to feel like. Yes I know it's going to hurt. I know it will be unlike anything I've ever experienced. But I've never given birth and I have no idea what it really is going to be like, so how can I say I can be strong enough through it when I really have no idea what I'm actually agreeing to.

Ultimately I want to do it naturally. I want to be one of those strong women who can say "Yes I gave birth naturally without any medication!" After all, I've been able to do a lot that I put my mind to. I mean a few years ago, if someone had told me that I would run a marathon in less than five hours, I don't know if I would have believed them. And I ended up doing it just three short months ago. If I can dedicate myself to the training and endurance it takes to run a marathon, I can give birth medication free. I'm going to continue reading up on the whole natural child birth thing and find out what exactly I should expect in the delivery room. I think knowing what to expect will be half the battle. And there are plenty of natural pain relieving methods. Knowing those will help a lot.