Jackson Graydon Tacke

Our son Jackson Graydon Tacke was born on June 22nd (Saturday) at 12:44 in the afternoon. He was 7 lbs 14 oz and he was 20 1/2 inches long. I am so incredibly in love with him. I had no idea I could love someone so much. We are on day 3 and although I haven't had a solid night's sleep in almost a week (the couple days before he was born were rough for sleep), I don't even care. I actually have been able to get a couple naps in and I am able to sleep while I nurse him at night, so it's really not been too bad. And when I wake up and see him looking at me, I don't even care that I'm tired. I realize that he's not going to be little like this for very long so I'm really enjoying every moment.

Labor was, well, it was labor. They call it that for a reason. It was hard for sure. I started having contractions on Thursday night. The hormones were really surging through me and I was really over being pregnant by then. I was trying not to get too bluesy about it, but I was so tired of being pregnant. I just really wanted to get labor over with and meet him finally. I was so tired of being fat and uncomfortable and unattractive and just pregnant. My body must have known too because shortly after I got done telling God that I was ready whenever he was, I started having contractions. They were pretty light and not too strong, but they kept coming every 20-30 minutes. I kinda figured they were just Braxton Hicks, but they stayed pretty regular. Friday morning I took a little snooze because I hadn't slept well the night before. The contractions kept coming though. I was scheduled for a doctor's appointment at 1:00 and my mom told me that we should take our bags. I really didn't think that I was actually in labor and that it was actually happening. I was kind of lacking on what I ended up packing because I really didn't think we'd end up staying.

When we left for the doc, my contractions picked up. I had around 15 contractions on the way there. They were still pretty light and I was able to talk through them without any problem. When we got to the doctor, she did an ultrasound and said that my fluid levels were really really low. I was only dilated 1 cm though, so I had a long ways to go. She told us that one way or the other, we were having a baby that day or the next. Talk about a big wake up call. She had me do a non stress test to see how strong my contractions were. I had my membranes stripped, which picked up a bit, but they were still fairly light. She had us to get lunch and then meet us that the hospital at 4:00. Once I got admitted and hooked up to an IV, my doctor came and checked me and I had gotten to 2 cm...not exactly what I was hoping since it had been three hours but she said that it was good progress and that she wouldn't need to start me on pitocin yet. She stripped my membranes again and that seemed to make the contractions harder. I labored for a little while just around the labor room and then asked if I could get in the birthing tub. That helped a lot. The contractions were definitely stronger, but they were manageable in the tub. I was able to talk through them at the beginning, but by the end, they were taking full concentration.


I stayed in the tub for about 4 hours. I was planning on staying in there for most of my labor, but when I got out to pee, I decided I wanted to get dried off and labor outside the pool. That was around 10:00. The nurse asked if I wanted to be checked (By this time we had a new one named Jan. The first one was named Mary and I wasn't so sure about her at first. She ended up being alright though. Jan was amazing though) and I told her yes mostly because I was curious. I was only at a three. Gah!!

I continued to labor until about midnight I think. I got really nauseous and had to throw up at one point. There wasn't a whole lot in my stomach, but the body convulsions made my water break. It was kind of funny because a couple months back, I threw up from some bad food and when I did that, I peed my pants. Chris was there and thought that my water had broken. It didn't of course, but when I threw up in the labor room, I thought that I had just peed myself, when in fact my water actually had broken. There was a little meconium in the fluid, but the nurses weren't worried about it. She said that some of my fluid had come out in the tub when she went to drain it because there was meconium in the tub as well. But like I said, they weren't worried about it, so they left me alone.

The nurse asked if I was interested in maybe having some medicine to help me sleep (aka narcotics). Since it was getting late and I had a long way to go, she told me that taking something to help me sleep through the contractions would help when it came time to push. She also mentioned that I still had a long way to go. I decided that that sounded like a good idea, since I was getting pretty tired and wanted a break from the contractions. I was under the impression that the morphine would knock out the contractions and I wouldn't feel them. I was able to sleep, but I still felt the contractions. I was actually kind of pissed off that I could still feel them. Fortunately I wasn't mean to the nurse, but I did ask "I thought you said they would go away?!" She told me that the medicine was only to help me sleep in between them, not get rid of them completely. So I endured them. The medicine really did help boost my energy. I remember laying in the bed and breathing through each contraction and then falling asleep between them. My mom and Chris were still on edge because although I was sleeping between contractions, I was still waking up every 5-10 minutes feeling awful. I remember my mom sitting right next to my bed for almost the whole time I slept. I will probably remember that forever, her just sitting there and holding my hand through each one. I remember hoping that I wasn't making her and Chris feel too bad seeing me in so much pain.

Eventually the narcotics wore off and the contractions got stronger and stronger. My nurse checked me and said I was dilated to about 5 cm and 80% effaced. Only 5 cm. I kept hoping that it was going to go a lot faster once I hit 6 cm because my doctor had said the first 6 are the longest and hardest. Once I ended up getting to that point, I would probably go a lot faster. Chris said that he had talked to Jan about maybe discussing the possibility of an epidural around 6:00AM or so. I remember thinking "Oh my gosh, do I have to wait until 6:00??" But I didn't want to be weak and give in yet. Mom had mentioned to me while I was still groggy that if it were her, she would get the epidural and not worry about it anymore. I think this was a really big wake up call for me. If the woman who had given birth eight times, seven of those times without any pain meds at all, was telling me to take the drugs, maybe I should trust that she knows what she's talking about. So maybe five minutes after Chris had mentioned that we could talk about the epidural, I said "Do I have to wait until six to get the epidural or can we start talking about it?" I think everyone breathed a sigh of relief that I was interested. They didn't want to see me in pain anymore. So after a few minutes of them telling me that I was too far into labor to stall out and that it would only provide relief, I gave in pretty willingly and asked for the doc to be called. As I waited, I asked my mom if she thought I was weak for giving in. She dismissed it like I was being ridiculous. She said she had never had to labor as long as I had already and she didn't blame me one bit for wanting some relief.

I think the anesthesiologist showed up about 20 minutes later and I was thrilled. He was this extremely polite southern guy that sure seemed to know what he was doing. They got me to sit on the bed and I leaned against Chris while they put the epidural in my back. Initially when he poked my back to numb the area, I jumped despite the warning he gave that I would feel a little pin prick. I don't know why it surprised me but it did and it scared everyone. I made sure to hold very very still after that. A few minutes later, my feet started feeling tingly and the contractions dissipated. I was finally able to sleep!

And sleep I did! And so did my mom and Chris. I think we all zonked out until about 9:00. Well we must have woke up a little before that  because Jan came to see us before she headed out at 7:00AM. She predicted that I would have the baby about 12:30. Mom guessed that I would have him by 10:00. They gave me a few doses of pitocin because when I got the epidural, my contractions did slow down a bit. At one point, I went 13 minutes without a contraction. That made them worry, so they upped the dosage. They must had got it right at some point, because Chris said he was looking at the monitor and they were just constant waves. Around 9:00, I think we were all awake for good for the most part. I really started feeling pressure in my pelvis. It wasn't quite pushing pressure, but it was definitely uncomfortable. This I really didn't understand because again, wasn't the epidural supposed to stop all the pain so I wouldn't feel anything?? Our new nurse was named Carol and I asked her about it. I said that I could totally still feel my legs and everything and I wasn't too sure if the epidural was still working. When she checked me (I think around 10:00), I could tell her fingers were in there, but it wasn't uncomfortable like it normally was. It was a little reassuring just because I knew it must still somewhat be working. But she told me that they probably couldn't give me another dose of epidural medicine because it might block out all my nerves and I'd have a hard time pushing. So I decided that it was probably okay and I'd rather be able to push him out easily. When Carol checked me I was around 9 cm. She told me I had a tiny little bit of cervix on the side, so I wasn't completely dilated yet. I was told that it wouldn't be much longer though before he would be here.

My doctor actually wanted me to have another dose of epidural because she wanted me to be comfortable. This was different than what Carol had just told me, but Carol said that Jenn (my doc) thought it was a good idea. So they brought another anesthesiologist to add more medicine to the IV. He stuck around for a bit to see if it would kick in. It never really did. I didn't feel any different. Carol said that I probably wouldn't be able to get rid of the pressure and that it was probably good because that told me when I should push.

They got me all situated to start pushing. Carol told me that if I felt the urge to push, to go ahead and do it. Whenever I did feel the intense pushing urge, I would push a little just to see what would happen. I really didn't feel any relief at first. It just really started to feel like I had a big old poop building in my system. Carol checked me again and I was fully dilated. She said that there was a weird pocket of fluid at the top of the baby's head and she really couldn't tell if it was actually part of the baby's head or if it was just a little extra fluid compressed in there. She just left it alone to see what it would do.

I kind of started pushing with my legs still on the lower part of the bed. Carol sat in front on a stool and watched at how I was pushing. After a few minutes of her showing me how to most effectively push, the pocket of fluid suddenly burst and nearly got all over her face. It was really rather funny actually. Had she been sitting a few more inches to the left, that little sac of fluid would have burst all over her face. We all laughed about it and she wasn't too traumatized (good thing since she was the nurse!). Jenn still hadn't shown up yet and I realized that it was probably going to take a while if she still hadn't even arrived yet. Pretty soon though she did arrive and things started getting serious. That pressure was suddenly THERE. It scared me a little because it was like I knew it had to get worse before it got better, and let me tell you, it was getting worse and worse. I started out pushing fairly easily and not too forcefully. I wasn't breathing too hard or sweating. But then it was like I was pushing SOOOO hard and sweating a ton! My mom was really good at telling me how to start pushing and counting for me. Chris eventually took over. Both he and my mom had a leg when I started and then Jenn asked me to lay on my side. Everything really is rather blurry once I got pushing. I thought the epidural would really alleviate the pain, which I think it did, but the pain was so intense that I had no idea that I would still feel it THAT much! Everyone kept saying "It's okay you can do it, breathe through that ring of fire feeling! Keep going. One more push!" Chris told me afterward that is was like I would push really hard and a lot would come out and then I'd stop pushing and it would all suck back. When he really started coming out, everyone kept telling me they could see his head and he was almost here. I swear people said that a hundred times. They said "One more time!" a hundred times. I started to think "When will it really be one more time?!?!?!" But soon I could tell when it really was very very close. I got to the point of getting his head out and that was probably the worst part. All I wanted to do was keep pushing, but I had to breathe! I had to take a break for a second with his head sticking out and his shoulders still in. I finally was able to give one more push and suddenly this huge slimy something came out of me and that was it! He was out and everyone was laughing and crying and Chris kept saying "He's here! You did it! He's out and it's all over!!" They handed him to me and put me on my chest. He was wet and slippery and I remember not being able to bring him up as close to me as I wanted because he was still attached to the cord that was still inside me. I remember Jenn saying "Okay be careful you guys, he's still attached here." I was so out of it though. I mean I was alert and oriented, but I was really out of it. They clamped the cord after a couple minutes and Chris cut it. They got the placenta out a lot quicker than I thought they would. Now THAT was a weird feeling! Jenn held onto the cord and I felt a tiny tug and she asked me to give a little push and, woosh, out it came!

A lot after that is a little blurry. I guess I was bleeding pretty badly, so they pushed a little pitocin to try and stop the bleeding. They massaged my belly (kinda painfully) and that seemed to do the trick. But then I had to lay there and get stitched up. I ended up with nine stitches on my perinium (ugh!) which hurt like the dickens. That took a whole lot longer than I wanted it too, but Jenn finally finished up. She asked if I wanted some pain meds and I said yes. I didn't really realize though that they would make me quite so sleepy. Jenn told me that after they were administered. I fought to stay awake though because there were still so many exciting things going on and I wasn't ready to go to sleep yet. We ended up meeting our pediatrician Keri Wheeler and she seemed very nice. She was at the hospital right when he was born. I was a little groggy so I wasn't as alert as I normally would have been. Chris skyped his mom and dad a few minutes after he was born and they got to see him right away. Everyone's emotions were high. Mom stood by the edge of my bed teary eyed and asked what his full name was (she had guessed the night before that Jack was incorporated). We told her "Jackson Graydon Tacke" and she immediately teared up. I realized suddenly that she might not be okay with it. It had never even occurred to me that I should ask her ahead of time. She told me afterward that she was more than okay with it and that it really touched her actually. Howie was okay with it too. It also caught him off guard, but he was touched.

Pretty soon I got all cleaned up and everyone slowly left the room one by one. I have no idea how many people were in there when he was born, but it seemed like a lot. My mom hung around until about 2:00 and then headed back to my house to relieve Miranda from babysitting duty. Chris and I stayed in the room and had some lunch and took a nap. It was pretty relaxed post birth. Carol came in about 5:00 or so and got me up to go to the bathroom and make sure I could walk. I took a shower which felt really good. I made the mistake of looking down at my hooter and man alive was it swollen! The next morning Jenn asked me about how it was feeling and when I mentioned it she compared it to a hot dog bun. Yep...that was pretty darn accurate.

We moved into a postpartum room after dinner, which sucked compared to the delivery room! They had a pull out recliner for Chris which was super uncomfortable. It was just very small and hot and not nearly as nice. They obviously don't want people to stay much longer after delivery. They were in the process of remodeling their facility, so if we are still here by the time we have our second one, it will be really nice. Our first night with him wasn't bad at all. I woke up for the most part with him, but he was super easy to deal with. I stuck him on a boob when he wanted and slept. A few times in the night, I woke up and he was awake and we just stared at each other. He has the most beautiful little dark eyes. He was just looking at me and studying every part of my face it seemed like. I really loved that first night and all the nights since then. We've had him home for a few days now and so far it's been great. He's a pretty darn easy baby. Waking up in the night is a little tough sometimes, but it's really not that bad. And when I see him sleeping next to me or looking up at me with his sweet little baby cheeks, I just can't get enough of him. I always knew I would love him a lot, but now that he's here and I get to see him every day, I LOVE him so much. Every tiny little thing he does is adorable and I just cannot get enough of him! Overall I am so happy with our birth story. I wouldn't change anything about it. Despite it being a 35 hour process, the little boy that I got out
of it made every second worth it.