My Secret Pins

Because I still have yet to share the exciting news with all my friends, I have to resist the urge to pin every single baby related thing I see. So I think I'm going to start posting the links here until I put the news of FB. That way people won't get too suspicious when all my pins have to do with newborns and how to survive the first week...

How To Survive the First Week With a Newborn

My Weekend

Well I jinxed myself. I do that all the damn time. It's one of the big reasons we are sitting here and talking about this whole pregnancy. I hit six weeks last Wednesday and really had yet to feel any queasiness and anything at all (I did have one day while I was home that I didn't feel super great). I was starting to wonder if there was anything in there at all, seeing as my body seemed to be adjusting so well.

And then Saturday morning hit. Holy crap on a stick! I stood up and immediately got dizzy and queasy. I never did throw up, but I sure felt like it could be most welcome. It felt about how I normally feel after drinking too much wine the night before, minus the headache. By the afternoon I felt better, but still not up for a whole lot. We did end up going to our local school's fall fund raiser and I felt alright. I was hoping that because I was feeling better Saturday night that Sunday wouldn't be as bad. WRONG! Okay well actually it wasn't too bad. It didn't last as long as it did on Saturday, but I think I felt worse. I woke up and went into the kitchen to start waffles and the dishes. At first I thought I wasn't going to feel too bad, but then I started to feel dizzy. So I took some Airborne (which usually helps perk me up through anything) hoping it would help. Not so. My hubby came in and started helping me with the dishes and when I kept having to lean against the sink so I wouldn't pass out, he told me to go lay down.

Fortunately I did start to feel better a little while later. It really just hit me hard this weekend. Amazingly enough I felt fine this morning. I kind of started to think that this was the beginning to a miserable couple of weeks, but maybe the baby just really doesn't like sleeping in. Hmmm, I thought I had some more time before I had to give that up...

Oh and to add to my pregnancy symptoms, last night I forgot to shave one of my legs. Not just a spot, but the ENTIRE leg. I went to go put some lotion on and noticed the incredibly hairy stubble still present. It freaked me out a little. I mean how do you forget to shave one of your legs??

I've also been having some crazy dreams. I mean CRAZY! The other day I thought there was a mass murderer on our street going into people's houses and shooting them. I woke up and almost asked DH if he had his gun loaded because someone was in our house. Then I realized it was a dream and that might freak him out a little. And the same night, I dreamt that I decided to go for a run and I went half way to my home in Montana, and had no plans of how I was going to get back. And my husband was gone on an ambulance shift and couldn't come and get me. So I had to walk back. And to top it all off, last night I dreamt I was having sex with a chick, and I couldn't figure out if my husband would consider it cheating and have a problem with it.

Yea...weird weird dreams!

Weird Home Remedies

Uhh...this seems weird.

In regards to engorged breasts...

"You may wish to apply chilled cabbage leaves to ease engorgement, however limit use to 20 minutes, no more than 3 times per day, as cabbage can decrease milk supply."

Why cabbage of all things?!

Things To Start Reading Up On

The internet is such a handy tool to have. Especially when you're pregnant for the first time. I don't mind reading books and all but I feel like it's way easier to find specific information online that deals with the exact questions that I'm having. When I read a book, not only do I have to somehow get my hands on that specific book (library, buy, etc.) but then I have to sift through the chapters that I'm really not interested in to find the topic I want to know more about. I am thankful to live in the age I do.

I am starting to realize that there are a lot of things I don't know. Before I considered myself pretty well educated on what to expect when a baby comes along. I am the oldest of five immediate siblings and then my mom had more children after I grew up as well. I learned a lot when I would come home to visit or just from talking to my mom about specific things. Part of me likes to think that what I need to know will just come when I need it to. I'll just know what to do when it needs to be done. Like breastfeeding for example. I mean  it doesn't seem like it would be that difficult. Put the baby on your boob and let him suck. How hard can that be really? But then I've seen articles about women who have such a hard time with it. They recommend getting advise from a lactation specialist when you're in the hospital and to read up on it before the baby arrives. Now I'm not one to think that I know everything, but I had no idea that it could be such a hard thing to figure out. Some women end up not being able to do it at all. Which, I don't know if I believe completely. From what I've read and heard from others, it is not always the most fun or the most comfortable, so I think some women may just give up. Maybe there are some who just don't produce enough milk, but I really believe that our bodies as women are made to have babies. We are specifically designed to grow and nurture a baby. I can hardly believe that there would be a woman who would be unable to do such. I mean what did they do in the olden days when formula wasn't available? I bet they tried a lot harder. That baby wasn't very happy otherwise. I realize that it may be harder for some women, but I really have a hard time believing that it's impossible for anyone.

But what do I know right? I probably just jinxed myself and I am going to have a hell of a time nursing. And I'll hate every minute of it and just want to be done. I hope that's not the case. Breastfeeding sounds like it can be a really neat experience. I do not want to feed my baby formula at all if I can possibly help it. My boobs are around for a reason, why not use then as much as possible?

I do really want to read up on breastfeeding and find out more. I just don't want to be surprised by anything that can happen with this pregnancy. There is so much information readily available on this subject. I did just read this article that made me tear up a little. It's written in a way so it's as if your baby has written you a letter. It's so sweet and very informative. I learned a whole lot just from it alone. Dear Mommy

Sweet right? I think I'm going to have to keep that just to stay encouraged should it be particularly difficult.

Here is another article about what to expect those first few days after baby is born (nursing wise anyway).
Breastfeeding Timeline

Baby News

We went home this weekend and told all our family the big news. It was a lot of fun! My hubby and I stressed over trying to come up with creative ways to tell everyone, but kind of gave up when it was going to be too hard to get everyone together at once. It was a very busy weekend and we hardly saw one another, so our options were limited. We finally broke down and just told our families in some simple ways. I showed my sister a pic of the pregnancy tests. We gave my in-laws some baby socks with John Deere on them. I am not too disappointed that we didn't go all out for it. We thought about waiting until Christmas when we could tell everyone together, but we really didn't want to wait that long. I'll be around 13 or 14 weeks, which would be really hard to keep to ourselves for that long. We just told family for the most part though. We are going to wait until our doctor's appointment on the 14th to tell anyone else. That way we can actually see the little guy in there (I think it's a little guy anyway...) and have a confirmation that there is someone in there.

This whole secret keeping is really hard! I keep catching myself almost blowing it to my coworkers. Yesterday I almost told me friend about three different times. She started showing me swimsuits that I could get for Jamaica. Not really thinking, I said "Ok but I probably will need a one piece..." She didn't ask why thankfully or pick up on anything. So I just pretended that I liked the one pieces better. Then a few hours later, we were talking about a friend of ours who is having a baby in December and my friend asked what they are going to name the baby. I said that they are keeping it a secret, which she in turn said she would probably do as well. I began to say "Yes that's what we are doing too." But I changed it mid-sentence to "Yea we'll probably do that too someday." Jeeze, I swear this is going to kill me to keep this secret for so long! Thank goodness we've only got three weeks until the doc appointment.

This morning we started taking our weekly pictures (although they will start being more weekly after the doc appointment). We got a chalkboard and wrote the date that we found out (10.11.12 by chance!) on the top and when the estimated arrival date is. Then I held up the positive test. We probably won't do a belly pic for a few more weeks because there really won't be much to see for a while. When it's all done it will look something like this, with out own personal tweeks.

And of course I can't get the picture to get very big. But you can kind of see it and get an idea. I will put on the one we took too eventually. And when we are all done, we'll have a little collage like this. I think it's such a fun idea!

It's kind of crazy that this girls starts showing at 10 weeks. That's not very far away! Four weeks until I'm at 10 weeks! It could be different for me of course though. We'll see.  

My brother and his wife actually are getting rid of a bunch of their baby stuff right now and I was able to snag a stroller and car seat and a breast pump that they hardly used. We didn't take the stroller right away, but they are holding onto it for us. I do have to say that I am so happy that God gives us eight and a half months to prepare for this stuff. I for one feel completely overwhelmed by all the baby stuff that I need to know about and get and all that! It's just crazy. I went into a baby store with my mom and sisters while we were home and just didn't want to look at anything by the time I was done. Part of it really is the fact that we live in this really tiny tiny place and a crib alone is going to have to be crammed in. So the idea of buying little extras is not as much fun as I would like it to be.

Hopefully we will get to move into a little bigger place before too long. I mean we can make it work where we are right now, but it will be really hard and it will really piss me off if the company does that to us. There is a chance that my hubby might get promoted if his boss finds another job, but that probably won't happen for a while. I am just going to have to exercise my patience skills. I know everything will work out for the better and I know we will be able to handle whatever is given to us. It would just be a whole lot easier to handle it all in a place with a few more square feet!

Three More Weeks!

There are only three more weeks until election day and quite frankly I cannot WAIT for it to be over with. People get so heated and angry with each other over politics. I wish America had more of a mindset that centered around the common good of everyone. Why does it always have to be one side or the other? It's so frustrating to watch. I personally have chosen the candidate that I think will do a better job, but I've also come to the realization that God is going to select the best man for the job. My candidate may not win, and if it that happens, I am really going to try and accept the fact that he was meant to be there. I just wish the waiting game was over and all these politic talk would be over and done with.

What Else Could I Possibly Be Thinking About??

Well this blog was supposed to be more of an all around life blog, but now that I have found out I'm pregnant, I foresee the main topic of it will revolve around pregnancy. Okay maybe not all the time. I've got eight more months to worry and think about everything, so I'm sure I'll still be able to muster up some other posts about additional topics, but for now, baby things it is!

I still just don't feel like it's true. I know that it is, but for some reason I just don't feel like it's really going to happen. This is something that I've thought about pretty much all my life. What it would be like to have a baby and now that it is happening in the near future, I just can't believe it. Plus I have not really felt any side effects (other than sore boobies) so I still just don't feel like it's true.

Maybe once I start feeling nauseous, maybe then I'll realize that it's really happening. Or maybe once I'm the same size as a baby whale I'll believe it. Or maybe once the kid is coming out my vag...maybe then it will be real. Who knows? I just still can't believe that I'm going to be a mom though. I'm like for real a grown up now. When you have kids, it's official. You are a grown up. Yea getting married is a big deal and a very grown up thing to do, but you're still not truly a grown up until a baby is on the way. Now there is another human being whose life depends on you being a responsible adult. Having a kid is a BIG deal!

I know I should feel nervous about it, but really I'm not. I'm a little concerned about the whole child birth part. That might be a little nerve racking. Surprisingly though, I always thought that once I had a child, I would really want the doctors to just leave me the hell alone and let me do my thing. Now that it's real and I'm going to have to go through some seriously painful stuff, I am all for doctor help. Maybe not so much inducing labor (although who knows once we get closer) but I think I am totally going to go for the epidural. There's no point in letting myself be in pain and agony if it can be avoided. My luck (and history of anesthesia tolerance) it isn't going to work anyway and I'm going to have to do the whole thing naturally anyway. The thing I'm the most scared of is the episiotomy. Holy crap, I don't want that snipped...yowzas!

But then again, I've got 8 months to go and I'll think about the childbirth part once we get closer (and once we actually talk to a doctor about it). I'm a little worried about our living situation. We are currently living in a pretty darn small place without much space for a crib or couch or chair or anything extra really. I think we could make it work if we had to. We are basically waiting for our company to move us to some housing that is a little bit bigger. I'm really praying that we will get moved to a house that will be a little better for our situation. The nice thing is that we don't have to pay rent or utilities so we don't have to worry about being evicted or our heat being shut off if we can't make the payments, so I am really thankful for that.

Honestly one of the reasons I can stay so calm about this whole thing is that I know we can do this. There are people who are a lot worse off than we are who have made it work. I am thankful for a wonderful supportive husband and the great job that he has. Having a partner like him really makes things like this not so scary. I know that no matter what we can make it through anything. I really do feel blessed for the life that we have been given. I often think about wives who have husbands that just don't care. I can't imagine feeling like I'm alone in this. Single mothers are amazingly strong to me.

Anyway we are going to tell our family this weekend. We are headed home and it's really the only time we can. It's still a little bit early, but I'm really not too worried about that. I know that I can't wait until Christmas to tell them and I want to tell my family before my friends and there is NO way I can hold it in from all my friends until Christmas. Just waiting this long (a whole week!) has been killer. I don't really know how people can wait until the end of the first trimester to say anything.

It is going to be pretty fun to tell them. I think they are going to be really excited about it! I know I am stoked and can hardly wait to tell the entire world. I think I'm going to look online and see if I can find any super creative ways to spill the beans.

Jinxed

I've been really focused on this Jamaica trip the last few days. Thinking about the different exercise programs I am planning on doing to be fit. Getting a tanning package in town so I can have a little color when I get there. I even clocked out when I should expect my period while we are there. I figured out that I was probably going to get it right at the end of the trip if it stuck with it's normal schedule for the next few months. If I could have got my period to be one or two days late each cycle, then it would start a couple days after we got back, which would be perfect. So this time around I was hoping my period would come on the 10th, rather than the 9th like when it was due.

The 9th arrived but no period, and I was happy because I knew it was a little late which was what I was hoping. Be careful what you wish for...

The 10th came and went. I thought it was a little weird that I still hadn't started, but also my period has been a little messed up lately due to my training and running a marathon. I really haven't been running a lot, but I did run my marathon at the beginning of my cycle and I thought that that might have messed it up a little. But just for shits and giggles, I decided to take a pregnancy test.

Now I have taken a few of these the last couple months since I went off the pill. Like I said, my cycle has been a little off lately and so I fully expected it to be negative.

So yesterday morning I woke up, and still no period. I grabbed a box of pregnancy tests and went into the bathroom. I turned on the shower and plopped down on the potty. Normally when I take one of these, I put it on the sink and don't look at it. But this time I watched it as it turned, because it was definitely going to be negative.

NOPE! About 15 seconds in, I could see the faint second line coming into focus and blaring it's big fat positive pink line in my face. Holy shit!! I'm pregnant...

I literally started shaking and crying and freaking out just a tad. I was NOT prepared for this to happen. A lot of times, I think I might be and then I never am. The one time I took it thinking I had nothing to worry about...well, there it was.

I thought about waiting to tell my hubby until after work. I didn't want him to freak out about it all day and that way I could figure out a creative way to tell him. I got ready for work and decided that yes, I would wait until after to tell him. He sometimes goes to work a little bit after me and this day was one of those days. I told him I was leaving and kissed him goodbye. As I started to walk away he paused and said "Hey...is it off season yet?" I kinda froze. I tried to decide if I should just lie and say it did. But it caught me off guard and I couldn't brush it off gracefully. I said "Well no it hasn't." And I went into the bathroom and got the test. He said, rather calmly in fact "We pregnant?" And I turned on the light and handed him the test. Then, I think it hit him. I really had to get to work, so we talked a minute and then I said we'd talk more after work. We were both in shock, but now that the news has kinda set in, we are pretty excited. I still just don't believe it's true. I haven't felt nauseous yet and I don't feel any different, so I don't think it's really set in.

We set up a doc appointment for November 14 because by then I'll be 8 weeks and they can't really tell us anything until then anyway. We'll have an ultrasound and they'll answer all our questions that we have. I just really wish we could go in sooner! I also can't believe I have to wait until January to find out if it's a boy or girl! This waiting thing is killer.                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

And because of my last post, I have now jinxed myself and will in fact be six months pregnant while we are in Jamaica. I'm hoping I won't be too huge by that point (people only really start showing half way right??). But so much for really trying to do P90X and Insanity this winter. I know that I will not feel like doing them. I think they are going to have to be a post-baby goal. And perhaps I will run another marathon next summer. Lord knows I'm going to have some extra pounds to shed.

Jamaica Man!

Aruba, Jamaica ooo I wanna take ya

Bermuda, Bahama 

Come on pretty mama

Key Largo, Montego 

Baby why don't we go 

Jamaica 

Usually in the winter it is pretty desolate where we live. We are located in the Grand Teton National Park and in the summer it's a pretty busy place. But once we hit mid October, it gets really really empty around here. Then when the snow hits, it gets even more empty. There are about fifty people who live here year round (including workers and families). So by January and February things can get a little boring. This year though we've arranged for some very very exciting plans. My hubby and I and several of our friends are going to JAMAICA in March! I cannot wait!! Our company has a property down at Half Moon and so we can get an employee rate to stay there ($125/night!). One of the guys going with us worked in the Peace Corp in Jamaica, so he knows the ins and outs of the place. Plus flights out of our town are super cheap. I have no idea why, but it's cheaper to fly to Jamaica than it is to fly to New York City. Crazy! But we are taking advantage of it now while we are still young and kidless.

I think some of us are going to try doing Insanity during the winter months. We all work close enough and we have the same hours so we can motivate each other to do it. Now that I have some motivation to stay in shape (and get into better shape) it will give me things to do during the days that it gets so dark early. I am going to look good in my bikini in March! And I'll do whatever exercise I need to to make that happen. Now I'm just going to have to not get pregnant between now and March...

What's It All About?

Many of you may already know me. I have been writing in a little known blog called Musings of a Marathoner for about a year now and have decided to create another that centers more around all the little things in my life, other than my training for a marathon. Since I have completed my marathon (I am still running and concentrating on fitness subjects for that blog) I wanted to have another for all the other areas in my life.

Family, friends, marriage, sex, politics, entertainment, fertility and faith are just some of the highlights that I plan to discuss in this blog.